Corporate dynamics

The Dicks: This kind consists of the new joinees. Smart asses, just out of college. The kind that loves dropping not so subtle cheeky one liners. Like lines they used last year to pick up girls in school. But you're smarter than them right? You've been in a business longer than they have. So you give it right back and more often than not, they run out of comebacks. At the end of it all, they end up feeling really foolish. Gradually, cheeky one liners become less frequent when you enter the room. Ha ha... savor the moment. 

The Dick "Heads": Mostly the top management. You know this kind well enough. You've probably seem them function every since you started working. The higher you climb the ladder the closer to get to them. The faster you learn the tricks. Of being a dash dash. This kind loves maintaining an aura around them. They give you every reason to hate your job. They cut your bonuses but still make it seem like the opportunities available here are the best in the industry. They're not. And you know it. 

The Dildos: Every office has this. The female version of the dick but a little more experienced. Experienced in the art of manipulation. It's almost like they have a split personality and they're completely unaware of it. They get what they want by turning on and turning off the charm. Like an on and off switch. They think they have it. They don't. We see right through. Common, we weren't born yesterday. They're pretty, but dumb. End of story.