Its been close to 6 years. And i still haven't been able to quit. I've been through 3 failed attempts over the last 6 years. The most recent of which was most successful (even though it seems like its failing right now).
It all started one day in college. We were out for an "industrial tour". Being a student of management, importance is given to a practical understanding of how industries function. Being completely alien to it, with no previous experience of actually working in an organisation, it seemed that it might actually be informative.
60 budding managers, hopped into a train and left for Pune. Coz we dont have any industries in Bangalore you know. 60 budding managers, out of which 25 of them had already mastered management. They had mastered the art of managing to blow smoke rings in windy conditions. Something thats quite impressive to someone like me (someone who wants to try a cig for the first time).
Our rooms get allotted once we get to Pune, and I learn that I'm sharing a room with two smokers. Just my luck. We unlock the door and enter with baggage and one of them straight away starts digging for a ciggie, furiously turning out his pockets. The other looks on patiently and pulls out a matchbox. This entire exercise is beautifully coordinated. Just when the digger, pulls out a couple of ciggies and offers one to his associate, the associate, still calm and collected, strikes a match. Its like he knew when exactly the butts would kiss their lips and was counting down from the second he pulled out that match box.
Anyway, thats when I expressed to them both that I would like to try a couple of drags. I was of course treated like I just went mental. Why I elicited such shocked responses was beyond me. What's so mental about wanting to try a puff or two? You both have done it for years. Now give me one of those sticks.
Two drags, and I felt nothing. Nothing at all. I could hear laughter for a good 20 seconds, after which one of them was kind enough to teach me how to inhale. I did. They expected me to cough. I didn't. I was a natural. And guess what? I liked it. There was no stopping me after that. I got sucked into it. Eventually I mastered the art of managing to blow smoke rings in windy conditions.
In my head, I always thought that once I achieve that, I'd quit. But I couldn't. Twice I tried. Both times I developed rashes on my face and body. So I started again. Within a week of quitting.
Most recently (July 12th, 09) I quit again. I went strong for 2 days and had 1 on day 3 and 3 on day 4. What's most annoying is that every time you have an urge, you fulfill that urge by taking a few drags. And after you do, you feel like you've let yourself down. You're weak. And you don't really have the persistence.
What's worse is that you have a regular smoker within 10 feet of you at the office. The one who happily took regular smoke breaks with you. Also the one that runs a cigarette under your nose when he's just heard that you're trying to quit.
I've decided that I'm going to resist temptation hence forth. And every time I feel a strong urge, Im gonna make a run for it. Literally.
